Anxiety / Panic Attack?

So…yesterday I had one of those. I was at my cousin and a great part of my family was there. Asked me the usual questions- how’s college etc…well, i hate my college, i only went to it because my sister did becuase I didn’t know what to study…so i just said its going awful, i dont like it (its economics btw). then they started to ask me what I want to do in life, i said idk, cuz i really dont know…im 19..for 2 months now, im not doing anything, im just at home on computer and nothing else..its eating me up inside..i very much like the nature and animals and i hate seeing them being destroyed..i hate the world because theres like 7 billion of us and we just pollute and we became “the cancer” of the world..then the other day i realised that lebron james (if u dont know him, nba basketball player) makes 150k a day…what normal people need to work for like 30 years, he gets in a month…like i said, i dont know what i wanna do in my life and its starting to screw with my head..that happened yesterday around 8 pm when i came home, all of those information just came in my head at once and i couldnt take it..i thought to myself if only i could go out of my body for a break, but ofc you cant, you gonna be your whole life with that mind and i thought of killing myself, not seriously but ideas popped in my head and then it started…pain in my chest, heart pounding like hell, heavy breathing… i started to meditate a bit but it didnt work because my heart was pounding like hell, i think i shocked my body too because i went to the bathroom in that 1 hour like 3-4 times. i put funny movies and watched trying not to think on anything else..then after 2-3 movies i feel asleep and i thought today i’ll feel better but its still something pressuring on my chest and still feel the heart beating, not like yesterday though, yesterday was like someone hitting me with a hammer on my chest. I know I have to go to college, but idk what to study and its ****** up.